I saw a bear today!

[Hikin_Jim]

I hear they go straight up the N face of San Jac.
http://bennyandboone.com/Bears-mountain-climb.htm

[Perry]

If I was the bear and I saw a person running towards me at Perry's speed, it would scare the poo out of me. Did you get a picture?

If I really scare a bear someday, it might answer an age-old question....

[Cy Kaicener]

If I saw a bear I would be petrified and be unable to move.

Thats a good one Hikin Jim - Here's another
http://www.jardmail.co.uk/misc/real3bears.shtml
I heard a rumor that Little Red Riding Hood just gave birth to the Wolf's baby.

Bears in the San Gorgonio wilderness
http://www.sgwa.org/bearbag.htm
I think SGWA doesn't want to scare away hikers

[Hikin_Jim]

it might answer an age-old question...

"Is fresh bear poop really the same color as a blackened banana?"

[Hikin_Jim]

http://www.jardmail.co.uk/misc/real3bears.shtml

Now that's a good one, Cy!

And, in kind, I offer:
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Maine University in Monson. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would each go into the woods, find a bear, and preach to it.

A week later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, in a fine Irish brogue, 'Ey wint oot into th' woods to find me a bear. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Well, that bear wanted naught to do with' me and begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bar. And then I begun to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bar wanted nothing to do with me. I say NOTHING to do with the LORD’S WORD! So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to wrassle. We wrassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNKD him and BAPTIZED his savage soul. An' jus like you said, he was gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY WORD."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying in a hospital bed. He's in a body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! Preaching to the bear was easy, but he got a bit touchy about the circumcision."

[Cy Kaicener]

I thought they would all start praying with the bear saying "Thank you for what we are about to receive"