Ed, what a fascinating story! You should write a memoir or book, I think you have many great tales like that. Yes, it's probably too reductive to try to fit people down to these large social frames--people are driven by a wonderfully complex web of personal, social, economic, political and historical forces.
While I do think there can be (a lot) of elements of the unhealthy, the obsessive, or the status-seeking in hiking, sometimes with a particularly 'macho' cast, I've come to the conclusion that overall, that's okay. Even if people start out with 'bad' motives in ordeal or endurance hiking, I feel that with enough time in the wilderness, people grow more humble and appreciative and less 'jerky', if you will, and that being outdoors is always a healthy activity in the long run. Our society is so dangerously sterile and unnatural that anything that gets people outdoors, even if it's toxic masculinity, is still good for the world. And quite honestly, for some very driven people such as Ed describes, I think it's a form of medication--a way of dealing with internal pain or a mental illness such as depression. Well, obsessive mountaineering, so long as it doesn't put others in danger, is healthier than being a drunk, so more power to them, really. I do agree with Wildhorse that being around such obsessive or competitive people on a hike can be stressful and irritating. Hiking with others really has a way of reducing people to their elemental natures. Which can be good or not so good.
Q: How many therapists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change ...