This post has two purposes: 1. to get someone to get Fern to PM me with his phone number so I can return his shirt to him. Its continued presence in my household is haunting me. The burden of protecting its shiny wonderfulness from three children, four dogs, and a shedding cat is weighing on me and causing sleepless nights. Help. I want to be emotionally free again. 2. to start a useless controversy about a trivial subject that preoccupies me in my (many) idle moments. Here it is: "sports clothes." Here's my humble opinion, thrown down to outrage, offend, and hopefully provoke some interesting posts--polyester sucks. Oh, excuse me: 'technical fabric" sucks. I find it incomprehensible that anyone can wear any of those shiny, tight clothes without screaming. I've tried them a time or two and found them almost unendurably uncomfortable--clammy, hot, constricting. In my opinion, 'technical fabric' is a plot. I think what happened is that somewhere around 1975, someone at a clothing company noticed that their sales of polyester shirts were (rightfully! so rightfully!) plummeting. In a panic, dark and despairing, facing bankruptcy, some evil genius of marketing had a eureka moment and screamed "Rebrand". "Polyester" disappeared, and "Technical fabric" was born. And now, instead of old people, it's hikers who are suffering from the plastic horror.
Now mind you, I won't argue that the tight, shiny clothes don't look better. But they feel horrible. To my mind, hiking demands two fabrics: cotton, and wool. If it's hot, I wear lightweight cotton shirts and pants. If it's cold, I wear wool. When I read the ads for the 'technical' clothes, they're always going on and on about 'wicking' and 'staying dry'. But when it's hot, I don't want my clothes to wick. I want them to get and stay wet! Because then my shirt functions essentially like a swamp cooler--air blowing through the wet shirt is cooled down, bringing down my body temps. Wearing something tight, made of out of plastic, and which keeps drying out, is exactly wrong for a hot desert hike. This is so obvious that frankly I don't get how these companies can go on claiming the opposite. I also don't get how they can charge seventy bucks for a polyester shirt made in China. I pay 2 dollars for a cotton one at the thrift store. Yes, I look like a bag lady, but hey, I'm cool! In so many more ways than one!
Okay, nuff of me and my incredible fashion genius. I now want to hear what YOU wear while hiking, and why? Polyester devotees, prove me wrong! The more controversial and outrageous, the better. And I hope we hear something from the nude hiking contingent--I know for a FACT

that some of you are out there ...
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