For Florian - and other Trail Angels...
It can easily be seen that within any cash-strapped State or National Park, the trail maintenance budget is either poorly funded, abolished completely, or delayed indefinitely. But the trailside plants keep on growing, and dead trees keep on falling across the path. So what's to be done?
Our only realistic option is to call upon our burgeoning corps of volunteer Trail Angels, who are always ready and willing to devote their resources and time to this pressing problem.
Now, I'm not recommending that they arm themselves with enormous chainsaws and/or sticks of dynamite - these dangerous tools should only be used by trained professionals. However, there are other, lesser jobs that talented volunteers can tackle with minimal safety gear.
Take, for example, that notorious plant, rightfully named the Buckthorn. It loves to grow alongside trails in Southern California, always eager to reach out and tear open the tender flesh of passing hikers. Indeed, this one species of plant may have drawn more blood than an entire platoon of nurses! Let's not even mention the untold howls of agonizing pain that this evil plant has engendered. It's enough to boggle the mind!
But have no fear. The Trail Angels are here! And they do so many things!
Some, like Florian, leave caches of water to save the lives of unprepared hikers. Others, like Fern and Bluerail, leave gigantic cairns to guide lost hikers to safe and better-travelled paths. And then there are the mighty heroes of the RMRU, who volunteer to risk their own lives for others. Still, not everyone is a mighty hero. But most of us want to help, and to do what's right. And that's what being a Trail Angel is all about.
And that brings me back to the "point" of this post: The nefarious Buckthorn plant, an ever-proliferating menace to hikers that even the most timid of Trail Angels can dare to conquer. All they need is a strong desire to help others, and the proper set of tools. One tool, in fact: The Pruner.
For the purposes of this post, I am going to highlight the merits of one particular pruner, the Florian RP-701. This little baby is ultra-light, yet ultra-powerful. Its patented ratcheting mechanism even gives little-old-lady hikers the ability to wreak untold vengeance upon those nasty thorny terrors of the trail.
Far be it from me to call my wife a little old lady (I'm not a total fool), but she DOES have a touch of arthritus in her hands. She also likes to wear shorts when hiking (and I like seeing those legs), and therefore she hates buckthorn with a passion. Bleeding legs are not pretty, and they aren't fun. So she whips out her trusty ratcheting pruners and gives the trail a needed trim.
But she doesn't trim too much, of course. Trimming trails should be done in moderation, in good taste, and the pruned branches should be removed from the trail and hidden, if possible, so that others can walk by and enjoy the outdoors without seeing the glaringly fresh-cut ends of branches and an untidy mess all over the place. But not to worry: Trail Angels do things right. It's their motto.
It should hereby be stated for legal reasons that pruning plants without written permission in State and National Parks may well be a crime! Therefore, if you feel the calling to become a Trail Angel, be sure that you have the authority to do so. Or, make sure that you don't get caught! When the Powers-That-Be question you, insist that those wickedly sharp pruners are for purposes of self-defense only. Because they are!
Yes, this is the sort of grassroots uprising that makes our country great. When our parks are strapped for funds during these uncertain economic times, the volunteer Trail Angels can be counted on to come to the rescue and do their parts to help keep our parklands safe and beautiful.
Self defense tool in it's hipbelt holster, ready for instantaneous deployment.
See that scratch on that leg? Ouch! But have no fear, the perpetrator has been duly punished. And, yes, the trail is now safe and secure.
A note from the author (me): Sorry if this was so long, but once I got started I just couldn't seem to stop. Also, I can't afford an editor. Anyway, I hope a few of you got some chuckles out of it.
And it really would be a shame if someone "neutralized" some of the buckthorn on those switchbacks heading uphill toward Little Round Valley above the PCT. Or on the non-existent Tamarack Trail to the peak...
PERSONAL NOTE to Florian: I hope these pictures don't make you feel that you have to go out and buy one of these. They're expensive. But my wife sure likes them, and I think of you every time she wields them, even though I've never met you in person.
